i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is Oprah even human
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
