I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Are we still banned from the library?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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