She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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