Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
