im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
