I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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