Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
