I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
