She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
