hotel room ftw
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
