I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
