if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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