i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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