I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
