I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
