I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
