ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
