Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
