genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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