Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
