dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
