This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was born a porn star she said
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize