So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
