Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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