He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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