Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There r osticjed everywhere
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize