she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
