Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
