ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
