What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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