Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
