In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize