I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
