so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
