You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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