This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
