We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
