JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize