i just google imaged poop.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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