Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I just didn't expect you to be so naked....

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(973): View more from New Jersey

New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Why are we friends again?

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(817): View more from Texas

He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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(631): View more from New York

This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

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(914): View more from New York

she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

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(630): View more from Illinois

This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.

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(928): View more from Arizona

YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

(1-928): View more from Arizona

...and?

(928): View more from Arizona

I hate when you're right.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks

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