She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize