She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize