I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
