these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
