It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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