Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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