after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Bring me that man meat
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
