Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
