Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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