How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
