We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
