My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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