you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
