If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
