I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
