i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
organizing the empties. That sober.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
