so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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