I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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