when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
