You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
